‘Now, before I came here and met
your mother, I lived in a very far- away country, as small as the palm of your
hand, called Bulgaria. Its people have lived there for more than 1300 years…’
‘Does it really exist?’
‘Sometimes I wonder that myself. I
take out the globe in the living room and try to find it. I always have a hard
time, because it really is small.’
‘But it mustn’t be! When I take the
globe, the whole of Europe is as big as the palm of my hand, so Bulgaria should
be no less’
‘And yet it is. So, as I were
saying, I was born there when Communism ruled. It was...’
‘Where is he now?’
‘Who?’
‘Communism.’
‘Oh. he still lives here and there,
visits with people, mostly elderly, though.’
‘Does he visit with children?’
‘Er, no.’
‘Why?’
‘Well, their parents won’t let him
in.’
‘Why? Is he dangerous?’
‘I don’t know. He started off as a
very kind person, but let everyone take advantage of him. Remember that. Always
be kind but do not let people use you.’
‘I will.’(ref)
‘When I was your age, I did not know
or care about Communism.’
‘Why?’
‘I hadn’t met him yet. He mostly
went to schools and I was still in kindergarten.’
‘Oh.’
‘Yes. All I knew was that we would
go out in groups of ten to twenty and we would go and play anywhere we pleased
round town, and our parents let us, because they knew we were safe. The state
watched out for the children, and bad people were afraid of the state.’
‘Was it a very powerful thing then,
the State?’
‘In those days, yes it was. But
people lost faith in it and it slowly shrunk until it vanished.’
‘Just like Rock’n’Roll.’
‘How so?’
‘I heard it on the BBC. They said
that people lost Faith in Rock’n’Roll and that’s why it went away. Poor Faith.
She must be very small, if people lose her in stuff all the time.’
‘Small, yes, and very fragile… I got
lost myself, when I was no older than you, but don’t worry- I’m not letting you
out of my sight until you get… this tall.’
‘But that’s taller than you!’
‘Every son should outdo their
father.’
‘Tell me how you got lost now!’
‘Well, as I said I was your age, and
my Mom and Dad and I were out shopping. It was such a nice sunny morning that I
did not want to go inside and so they let stay me in front of the shop. As I
said, it was…’
‘…safe back then. Yes.’
‘When I was a little boy, I was very
absent- minded. I spent five minutes playing with some ants on the ground…’
‘Did you step on them?’
‘No! Of course I didn’t!’
‘Other kids in the park, they say
that when you step on an ant, it would rain. I thought about it for a while
and… Well, people in England must be very careless, because it rains all the
time, and everyone is in such a hurry that they don’t mind their feet. And
ants, as we know, are so small…’
‘Well, I think it’s more to do with the
Gulfstream…’
‘Yes. And with Vapour and
Condensation. We had that in school. But our teacher said we should explore
every possible end.’
‘Yes, but…’
‘Tell me how you got lost now!’
‘When I was finished with the ants-
without hurting them a single bit- I looked round and I realized I was in a
completely unfamiliar place. I had forgotten that my Mom and Dad were somewhere
behind me, in the shop, and I thought they had left me there. So, I did what
any brave Bulgarian boy my age would do in such a situation.
‘What was that?’
‘I cried. Strange people went by,
alarmed at my distress, and one of them came up to me…’
‘Was he shorter than you?’
‘No, he was… pretty tall, actually.’
‘So, I guess he must’ve come down to you, then?’
‘Y-yes, well, I guess you’re right.
So, he asked me what the matter was, and then he offered to give me a ride. And
so, I accepted, for, as you know, it was very safe for children back then, and
our mothers did not warn us about taking rides with strangers yet.’
‘Neither does mine. She only says I
can’t talk to them. I guess taking a walk with a stranger is OK, as long as
you’re not having a conversation.’
‘No, it’s not. You mustn’t have
anything to do with strangers.’
‘Even if they introduce themselves?’
‘Especially then.’
‘Like that one time when a man in a
suit came to visit and introduced himself and said he was selling household
appliances?’
‘Exactly. I slammed the door right
in his face, without saying a word. See how I listen to your mother? You must
be very careful with strangers.’
‘Is it because they’re strange?’
‘Oh, no. Your auntie Myra is very
strange, but she’s not a stranger, is she?’
‘But you never talk to her either!’
‘M? Well, that’s because
she’s strange.’
‘And you don’t talk to strangers,
because they are strangers, not because they are strange?’
‘I… guess so. I never gave it any
thought. You’re such a smart boy... Can I finish?
‘Please, do, Dad. It seems like it’s
to rain, and Hugo from across the street has probably torn down an anthill
again. I’ll have to go and tell him not to any more.’
‘The stranger got me to a police
station, and my Mom came to pick me up in half an hour.’
‘That’s not a very interesting
story.’
‘I know. I am sorry.’
‘Do you know a better one?’
‘Have I told you the one about the
Revolution?’
‘No. Tell me now!’
‘Well, since Communism was
everywhere, we were supposed to call the teachers at the kindergarten comrades...’
‘What’s that?’
‘It’s like friends, only you don’t
get to choose them. You are born that way. We had our Head comrade, who was not
very nice. She used to shout at us for anything and never let us run around in
circles and gave us a slap on the buttocks if we misbehaved.’
‘That’s odd.’
‘What is?’
‘The slapping.’
‘Yes. I know. They don’t do it
anymore, though I think every little boy needs a slap on the buttocks from time
to time.’
‘No. I mean, it’s strange, because
she was the Head comrade. If she was the Arm or Hand comrade, it would seem
more appropriate.’
‘Wouldn’t it? Well, anything was
possible under Communism.’
‘You mean, he was, like, over you all?’
‘Yes.’
‘Just like God?’
‘Pretty much.’
‘Are they friends with God?’
‘Communism doesn’t like God.’
‘Why?’
‘I do not know, actually. I guess He
gets in his view of things.’
‘Does God like Communism?’
‘Apparently not. Well, where was I?
Ah, yes. The Head comrade used to put all the toys on a shelf and she didn’t
let us play with them. She said she never had any toys when she was a little
girl, and neither would we.’
‘That’s too bad. Everyone should
have toys. Even little girls.’
‘Well, there were little girls
amongst us, too. We were all equal, you know. Even the Head comrade was equal
to us.’
‘Probably that’s why she did not
give you any toys. You all had to not
have fun equally.’
‘Hm. Probably.’
‘That’s not right. Children should
always have more fun than adults. That’s why they are children, right?’
‘Right. But our Head comrade did not
know that. So, one day she was out to mind a few porters trying to get a couch
up some stairs. Just to mend that unbearable inequality, we took all the toys
off the shelf and we played with them on purpose.’
‘On purpose?’
‘Yes. It wasn’t that fun, really.
But it was worth it. It was our own little Revolution. We stated clearly that
we demanded toys, and we were not going to settle for less.’
‘Did you get caught?’
‘Of course we did. That was the
whole purpose, wasn’t it? We were to set an example to the other kids in the
building.’
‘What happened?’
‘A friend of mine and I were
prosecuted as conspirators of the rebellion, when we really were not. The Head
made us stand upright in two corners with our hands above our heads while
everyone else went out for a walk. We did not move an inch for an hour.’
‘Was the Head there?’
‘No.’
‘Then why didn’t you move?’
‘Because it was wrong. And whatever
you do, right or wrong, Communism would know.’
‘Much like God.’
‘Yes. It’s strange now… but, as I
recall, in the Revolution I played with a little plastic boat. I had the
exactly same boat at home. But… I never saw it at home after that. I think there
was only one boat.’
‘Perhaps your Mom and Dad wanted you
to share your toys.’
‘Perhaps. But the Head didn’t.’
‘What’s the difference between
Communism and God?’
‘Communism is younger.’
Sunday, May 28, 2006
22:40pm
