събота, 1 февруари 2014 г.

Conversation With an Unborn Son



            ‘Now, before I came here and met your mother, I lived in a very far- away country, as small as the palm of your hand, called Bulgaria. Its people have lived there for more than 1300 years…’
            ‘Does it really exist?’
            ‘Sometimes I wonder that myself. I take out the globe in the living room and try to find it. I always have a hard time, because it really is small.’
            ‘But it mustn’t be! When I take the globe, the whole of Europe is as big as the palm of my hand, so Bulgaria should be no less’
            ‘And yet it is. So, as I were saying, I was born there when Communism ruled. It was...’
            ‘Where is he now?’
            ‘Who?’
            ‘Communism.’
            ‘Oh. he still lives here and there, visits with people, mostly elderly, though.’
            ‘Does he visit with children?’
            ‘Er, no.’
            ‘Why?’
            ‘Well, their parents won’t let him in.’
            ‘Why? Is he dangerous?’
            ‘I don’t know. He started off as a very kind person, but let everyone take advantage of him. Remember that. Always be kind but do not let people use you.’
            ‘I will.’(ref)
            ‘When I was your age, I did not know or care about Communism.’
            ‘Why?’
            ‘I hadn’t met him yet. He mostly went to schools and I was still in kindergarten.’
            ‘Oh.’
            ‘Yes. All I knew was that we would go out in groups of ten to twenty and we would go and play anywhere we pleased round town, and our parents let us, because they knew we were safe. The state watched out for the children, and bad people were afraid of the state.’
            ‘Was it a very powerful thing then, the State?’         
            ‘In those days, yes it was. But people lost faith in it and it slowly shrunk until it vanished.’
            ‘Just like Rock’n’Roll.’
            ‘How so?’
            ‘I heard it on the BBC. They said that people lost Faith in Rock’n’Roll and that’s why it went away. Poor Faith. She must be very small, if people lose her in stuff all the time.’
            ‘Small, yes, and very fragile… I got lost myself, when I was no older than you, but don’t worry- I’m not letting you out of my sight until you get… this tall.’
            ‘But that’s taller than you!’
            ‘Every son should outdo their father.’
            ‘Tell me how you got lost now!’
            ‘Well, as I said I was your age, and my Mom and Dad and I were out shopping. It was such a nice sunny morning that I did not want to go inside and so they let stay me in front of the shop. As I said, it was…’
            ‘…safe back then. Yes.’
            ‘When I was a little boy, I was very absent- minded. I spent five minutes playing with some ants on the ground…’
            ‘Did you step on them?’
            ‘No! Of course I didn’t!’
            ‘Other kids in the park, they say that when you step on an ant, it would rain. I thought about it for a while and… Well, people in England must be very careless, because it rains all the time, and everyone is in such a hurry that they don’t mind their feet. And ants, as we know, are so small…’
            ‘Well, I think it’s more to do with the Gulfstream…’
            ‘Yes. And with Vapour and Condensation. We had that in school. But our teacher said we should explore every possible end.’
            ‘Yes, but…’
            ‘Tell me how you got lost now!’
            ‘When I was finished with the ants- without hurting them a single bit- I looked round and I realized I was in a completely unfamiliar place. I had forgotten that my Mom and Dad were somewhere behind me, in the shop, and I thought they had left me there. So, I did what any brave Bulgarian boy my age would do in such a situation.
            ‘What was that?’
            ‘I cried. Strange people went by, alarmed at my distress, and one of them came up to  me…’
            ‘Was he shorter than you?’
            ‘No, he was… pretty tall, actually.’
            ‘So, I guess he must’ve come down to you, then?’
            ‘Y-yes, well, I guess you’re right. So, he asked me what the matter was, and then he offered to give me a ride. And so, I accepted, for, as you know, it was very safe for children back then, and our mothers did not warn us about taking rides with strangers yet.’
            ‘Neither does mine. She only says I can’t talk to them. I guess taking a walk with a stranger is OK, as long as you’re not having a conversation.’
            ‘No, it’s not. You mustn’t have anything to do with strangers.’
            ‘Even if they introduce themselves?’
            ‘Especially then.’
            ‘Like that one time when a man in a suit came to visit and introduced himself and said he was selling household appliances?’
            ‘Exactly. I slammed the door right in his face, without saying a word. See how I listen to your mother? You must be very careful with strangers.’
            ‘Is it because they’re strange?’
            ‘Oh, no. Your auntie Myra is very strange, but she’s not a stranger, is she?’
            ‘But you never talk to her either!’
            ‘M? Well, that’s because she’s strange.’
            ‘And you don’t talk to strangers, because they are strangers, not because they are strange?’
            ‘I… guess so. I never gave it any thought. You’re such a smart boy... Can I finish?
            ‘Please, do, Dad. It seems like it’s to rain, and Hugo from across the street has probably torn down an anthill again. I’ll have to go and tell him not to any more.’
            ‘The stranger got me to a police station, and my Mom came to pick me up in half an hour.’
            ‘That’s not a very interesting story.’
            ‘I know. I am sorry.’
            ‘Do you know a better one?’
            ‘Have I told you the one about the Revolution?’
            ‘No. Tell me now!’
            ‘Well, since Communism was everywhere, we were supposed to call the teachers at the kindergarten comrades...’
            ‘What’s that?’
            ‘It’s like friends, only you don’t get to choose them. You are born that way. We had our Head comrade, who was not very nice. She used to shout at us for anything and never let us run around in circles and gave us a slap on the buttocks if we misbehaved.’
            ‘That’s odd.’
            ‘What is?’
            ‘The slapping.’
            ‘Yes. I know. They don’t do it anymore, though I think every little boy needs a slap on the buttocks from time to time.’
            ‘No. I mean, it’s strange, because she was the Head comrade. If she was the Arm or Hand comrade, it would seem more appropriate.’
            ‘Wouldn’t it? Well, anything was possible under Communism.’
            ‘You mean, he was, like, over you all?’
            ‘Yes.’
            ‘Just like God?’
            ‘Pretty much.’
            ‘Are they friends with God?’
            ‘Communism doesn’t like God.’
            ‘Why?’
            ‘I do not know, actually. I guess He gets in his view of things.’
            ‘Does God like Communism?’
            ‘Apparently not. Well, where was I? Ah, yes. The Head comrade used to put all the toys on a shelf and she didn’t let us play with them. She said she never had any toys when she was a little girl, and neither would we.’
            ‘That’s too bad. Everyone should have toys. Even little girls.’
            ‘Well, there were little girls amongst us, too. We were all equal, you know. Even the Head comrade was equal to us.’
            ‘Probably that’s why she did not give you any toys. You all had to not have fun equally.’
            ‘Hm. Probably.’
            ‘That’s not right. Children should always have more fun than adults. That’s why they are children, right?’
            ‘Right. But our Head comrade did not know that. So, one day she was out to mind a few porters trying to get a couch up some stairs. Just to mend that unbearable inequality, we took all the toys off the shelf and we played with them on purpose.’
            ‘On purpose?’
            ‘Yes. It wasn’t that fun, really. But it was worth it. It was our own little Revolution. We stated clearly that we demanded toys, and we were not going to settle for less.’
            ‘Did you get caught?’
            ‘Of course we did. That was the whole purpose, wasn’t it? We were to set an example to the other kids in the building.’
            ‘What happened?’
            ‘A friend of mine and I were prosecuted as conspirators of the rebellion, when we really were not. The Head made us stand upright in two corners with our hands above our heads while everyone else went out for a walk. We did not move an inch for an hour.’
            ‘Was the Head there?’
            ‘No.’
            ‘Then why didn’t you move?’
            ‘Because it was wrong. And whatever you do, right or wrong, Communism would know.’
            ‘Much like God.’
            ‘Yes. It’s strange now… but, as I recall, in the Revolution I played with a little plastic boat. I had the exactly same boat at home. But… I never saw it at home after that. I think there was only one boat.’
            ‘Perhaps your Mom and Dad wanted you to share your toys.’
            ‘Perhaps. But the Head didn’t.’
            ‘What’s the difference between Communism and God?’
            ‘Communism is younger.’




Sunday, May 28, 2006
22:40pm